Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth
I share this just hours after returning home from the funeral of my cousin, Mark. He was only 34. I heard the news yesterday morning, by late last night we were home, and today was the funeral. It was a whirlwind trip, and it's been difficult to process.
I remember growing up playing softball with Mark and my brothers next to my grandma's house. He taught me how to play tetris. I remember when he showed me what it felt like to stick a 9-volt battery to my tongue. He was jovial. He loved to laugh. He was much like his father in that way.
This was such an unexpected death, it still feels surreal. It really sank in for the first time for me when I saw his mom at the visitation today. This woman has been through so much in her life, including burying her husband some 15 years earlier.
Today, she was so impressive. She had just experienced what is ranked as the #1 most stressful life event, the loss of a child, but to me I sensed a deep inner-strength. Sure, we hugged and cried. But then she looked at me and said, "I'm so blessed." I thought, blessed? You've lost your husband and now your son, how can you feel blessed?? Maybe she saw that expression on my face, because she went on to say, "I'm thankful for every day that God gave Mark to me. Every day is a precious gift from God. And I don't know how anyone can get through something like this without Him."
Wow. There it was. There's that inner-strength. I didn't immediately sense what that meant applied to me, but later it sank in. Hard. She's right! She has it figured out! And it was like I heard another voice saying, "Logan, you have a beautiful wife and son. They are a precious gift from God. Enjoy them every day. God has blessed you with them, but they belong to Him, and you are not in control of them."
God, help me to love my family every day and never take them, or any of your blessings, for granted.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
Posts
Logan,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this blog!...and I'm so sorry you had to experience the 9-volt from Mark...but really, the chances of your brothers introducing you to that were pretty high! I still can't believe that it was YOU in my wedding 22 years ago! I laughed and cried when I read this. Thank you so much for posting your memories, it helps me. My mom is strong and she does have it figured out. That was the greatest compliment you could ever give her. I don't know how people survive tragedy or truly celebrate triumph without Jesus Christ being in their heart and life. I am so greatful for Him, for salvation, and for every moment we have together on earth to spread His Word. I love you, Julie and Liam so much and am so proud of you all for heeding the call from Him. We are constant prayer support for you and look forward to following your experiences through this blog. I love you guys. ~ Barb